All Entries
December 23rd, 2006 by Dusty
May 2008
April 2008
- 09: Who wants to learn to fly? (33)
March 2008
January 2008
- 18: Oh, by the way, I get paid when you click on the ads on this page. And I don’t have a real job right now, so if it’s no trouble… (25)
- 14: From the book of “I thought I finished this one. Hmm…maybe not. When did I write this, anyway?” (31)
- 05: New Year’s resolutions for those who have none (21)
November 2007
- 29: Captain’s Log…hehe…log. (28)
October 2007
- 26: Holy Christ, what have I done? (66)
- 22: Problems in the booger bakery. (28)
- 12: If you’re under 25, you’re officially a whippersnapper to me. (37)
September 2007
- 18: The Seventeenth Trimester Abortion (22)
July 2007
- 27: To Attack, Disfigure, and Possibly Rape a Predator (26)
- 07: There is a Time and place to go bananas, and that is niether here nor now. (30)
June 2007
- 29: The day-to-day stuff that makes you feel alive. And sometimes on Fire. (28)
- 18: From Owning to Renting - A Six Month Roadmap to Financial Regression (51)
May 2007
April 2007
- 23: Assquatch (27)
- 18: The State of the News (34)
March 2007
- 22: If she didn’t have a tail, scientists would be baffled. (31)
- 02: The Rage Cage (34)
February 2007
- 15: Screw Titles. (37)
- 08: Anybody seen my professionalism? (35)
- 06: Putting the Laughter in Manslaughter (22)
January 2007
- 23: And I don’t have to worry about writing titles anymore. Or having periods at the end of them. Or how long they are. (40)
- 09: Should you be alive? Are you sure? (21)
December 2006
March 2006
February 2006
December 2005
October 2005
September 2005
- 27: A Nice Place To Visit… (4)
- 21: Cheers.
- 16: Who Invited Baryshnikov?
August 2005
- 25: -
- 16: Full Penetration Spooning
- 10: Funny stuff is all around- sometimes you just have to convince yourself.
July 2005
June 2005
- 28: Corndogoramma5000
- 18: I Figured I was Overdue for Something Like This
- 13: Holy Crap I Want One for my House
- 09: Who Stays Married for 40 Years Anymore?
- 03: why would someone that has their own ideas in their head actually look at this shite?
May 2005
- 27: Will somebody pick this guy off already?
- 22: Tsoynami Destroys Sushi Restaurant- Good Samaritan Flips Guy Off
- 19: I can’t write a title. The best one ever is already taken.
- 11: This is all just wrong.
April 2005
March 2005
- 27: Would you like some water to wash down that foot?
- 24: How to play with a three year old, and other lessons.
- 14: Let’s go ahead and cram a month’s worth of excitement into an hour. On a Monday morning.
- 09: Bloviating and Dancing (but not at the same time. That’d look silly)
- 02: The weekend that time remembered.
February 2005
- 22: Put that in your pimp cup and see if it gets you crunk.
- 17: Marrying the Shark
- 09: Pimp My Floormats
- 03: The Art of Overreacting…and some other stuff.
January 2005
December 2004
- 29: You’re never fully dressed without a smile.
- 16: I think something came loose up there.
- 14: I love My Life
- 09: Cleaning out the folder.
- 07: Please Submit a Title
- 01: My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. -Errol Flynn
November 2004
- 23: I met a Girl
- 14: The Human Gegnome.
- 08: Why Did I Check My Mail?
- 04: Tastes Like Chicken…Smells Like Bacon.
- 02: Halloween Costume Review
October 2004
- 29: I couldn’t even buy a tee shirt.
- 15: Shins were dug, and ho’s were down. We stopped just short of hooting any nannies. That’s just wrong.
- 01: Lessons learned in court.
September 2004
August 2004
- 30: Don’t be that guy.
- 17: Pass The Old El Paso…however you have to.
- 10: Straight Guy Seen Alone in Home Store. (1)
July 2004
- 30: Hall of Ineptitude Inductee
- 22: I’m a pundit. For today.
- 14: That’s all for now…
- 13: Karma is a miserable bitch.
- 07: Looking at Things Through Wasabi-Flavored Contact Lenses
June 2004
- 25: 8 track mind
- 24: Dear self: Stop acting like you are 22. You aren’t even close. -me.
- 22: Hey Paw, they ain’t like us. I’m scared.
- 13: World’s Most Bewildering Roller Coaster
- 10: Creed : Music as Teddy Bear : Sex
- 02: Has it been three yet?
May 2004
- 27: USA! USA! Yeah, I’m patriotic and I think we kick ass. Bite me.
- 24: I hate Comcast, but I cry at weddings.
- 17: Don’t let the title ruin the surprise…
- 12: A baby seal walks into a club. *rimshot*
April 2004
- 29: “Daddy! Granny’s got a mole on her leg!” … “Shut up and eat around it”
- 27: Putting the “Ho” in homeowner
- 21: No Girls Allowed
- 17: A Day in the Life…
- 16: Taking a Step Back.
- 13: Muh.
- 06: Creative Ex-Lax
- 04: My Weekend
March 2004
- 29: There are only three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can’t.
- 17: Delusions of Adequacy
- 07: More album covers. Last one, I swear.
February 2004
- 27: 10 worst album covers of all time. (1)
- 26: The Fury of Mother Nature
- 25: Guest Writer: Buttless Chap
- 23: The Lapdance is Always Better if the Stripper is Crying.
- 20: Pay no attention. It’s the cold medicine talking.
- 18: Nothing to write about.
- 08: Camp “Can’t Suck This”
- 02: You know how sometimes life makes you want to stand in the rain and cry? Yeah. That.
January 2004
- 29: Work tricks, the fight against achievement, and not punching people
- 27: Flummoxed.
- 19: Love blooms…just not for me.
- 17: Ducksauce Messenger 1.0
- 16: Ten things on my mind.
- 14: Is it beastiality if the animal is dead?
- 10: I think I saw someone die on TV last night.
- 05: My Damn Vacation.
December 2003
- 04: How to get fired, part II (1)
- 02: The Offender 3000X
November 2003
- 26: Was it molestation, or simply making love?
- 19: Oh yeah, the halloween party…
- 05: Let’s pretend I’m a corporate pilot…
October 2003
- 28: Rockin’ the World of Paper and Scissors
- 26: I hate coming up with titles for these things.
- 21: What the hell happened here?
- 20: Crappy entry about nothing. (1)
- 10: The truth is out there…wearing a sequined cape.
- 06: Let the designers come up with their questions for content.
September 2003
- 29: This Space for Rent
- 24: Insectification of my state of mind.
- 21: If People really look like their pets, I’m in trouble.
- 18: When Idiots Attack: The lamest fake fight in history.
- 17: Being misunderstood does not necessarily mean you are a genius.
- 15: Bumbling Retard Strikes Again.
- 11: How not to be an idiot (like I know anything about that).
- 09: I should just write my whole entry in this field. It would be funny because it would be all big and white and bold. I think I’ll try that sometime. Yeah. Definitely.
August 2003
- 28: Poo and Giant Insects, oh my.
- 26: Zip Skibbledy-dee!
- 21: Leave me alone.
- 06: Loud Neighbors, vol. II
- 01: Rocking too hard is bad for your heart
July 2003
- 30: Cellphone Eulogy (1)
- 28: Anthony Michael Hardass
- 25: Right you are, Guv’na
- 22: Late night at work…
- 16: I’ve been thinking again…
- 14: Scaredy Cat II
- 11: It ain’t the HoJo, but it has waffles.
- 09: Corndogs, Video games, and zealots. (2)
June 2003
- 29: Psychological torture for those who would deprive me of sleep.
- 27: Corndog-o-rama IX
- 24: Let this be a lesson
- 19: TURN! TWIST! TIME! THROTTLE! TALK!
- 12: P O R K I S M S
- 09: Insert Witty Title Here
May 2003
- 27: Giant Snowman Eats Inflatable Monkey
- 23: Writing for Writing’s Sake.
- 20: A Cause Worth Fighting For
- 16: Don’t park under the shitberry tree with anyone else but me.
- 08: Music midtown insanity
April 2003
- 29: EARTHQUAKE!! OH MY DEAR GOD!!!
- 18: The weekend in Florida
- 17: WARNING!
- 14: Painting bees and building a bed. Normal weekend.
- 08: There’s a spider on my peter, beat it off!
- 03: Putting the “fun” in “funeral”. (1)
- 01: I changed my mind
March 2003
- 27: Greatest hate mail.
- 26: I have Jesus’s class ring and I held a meat thermometer for ransom.
- 24: A wasp, a crappy movie, fat dumbass…
- 14: Simple tasks made difficult.
- 13: Fillet o’ Finger
- 10: That one entry where he crushes his fingers.
- 03: The Time I got Shot in the FACE.
February 2003
- 25: Shower curtains, banks, and other love/hate relationships (1)
- 18: I can’t believe I watched it either.
- 07: Coming to terms with my nerdlyness.
- 05: Give War a Chance
January 2003
- 30: Moving, Part Deux (1)
- 22: The move, part 1-Hell hath no fury like a gas company scorned
- 16: How to get your ass kicked.
- 15: My first hate mail. I hope they get better.
- 13: Diaries and moving.
- 09: Stuff I hate
- 07: Some stuff.
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
- 29: My annoying trip to Kinko’s
- 25: Skank Sinatra and the Buttless Chaps. We put the “odd” in “sodomy”.
- 22: A bunch of wierd stories.
- 17: And…I’m sane again. At least as sane as I get.
- 14: Ahh, the Joys of Depression!
- 11: Pork’s love test results…
- 09: I’m 30. So what?
- 08: The latest challenge.
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
- 22: The wondersock night.
- 21: Stuff I know
- 14: Not-so-power lunch
- 06: Survey
May 2002
April 2002
- 29: Let’s be Friends?!
- 25: Solo Flight
- 15: Scaredy Cat
- 03: Artists suck
- 01: Back Pain
- 01: Dreams of wildebeests and danger
March 2002
- 26: Improv and walk-a-thons
- 19: Squirrel Jerky
- 14: Mima
- 13: TurboBitch 2001
- 12: My Fan Club
- 11: What’s my plan again?
- 08: Myself and my theories on life