American Idol has once again come to a close. Thank GOD. Before I go on, let me assure you that the only reason it was on in my house is that I still only have two channels, and was forced to choose between Idol and something that was worse than Idol, like anything on the WB. And I have a huge gay crush on the Ryan Semencrest.

It looks like the contest came down to a bubbly young honky from Georgia and a soulful colored chick from one of the Carolinas. I don’t remember her name, but I know she was named after a Disney cartoon. Something like “Futurama”, or “Fazzmo” or whatever. Anyway, it was lame as hell. They didn’t sing one single song by Tool.

They cut to a shot of the Georgia dome to show the screaming herds of people who find this stuff entertaining, and I thought to myself, “If ever we needed proof that the terrorists have not won, this is it. America is still as consumed by crap as we always have been.”

If Akhbar Muhammed al’Sharpton and his cronies are sitting in a cave somewhere knitting fleece/plastique pullovers and they get a satellite feed of this, they should just give up already. The American spirit is such that even if you have convinced yourself that you are waging a holy war around the world, there are still stadiums full of applauding fans pinning their whole evening on which of two amateur singers sucks the least.

So eat that.

I also saw this great picture-

A “Palestinian” kid, I’d guess about seven years old, is about to throw a rock at a tank. The boom stick part of the tank is pointed right at his face, too. The line between bravery and abject stupidity is often thin and quite blurry.

My parents wouldn’t even let me cross the street when I was seven. Of course, they weren’t training me for a future that included blowing myself up in a crowded shopping mall, but maybe I am just lucky in that respect.

I’m lucky in a lot of respects. For instance, I’ve been keeping in touch with this guy who lives in Israel. He’s fifteen, goes to high school, plays guitar, probably sneaks porn into his room and does all of the other crap we do when we are fifteen. He’s smarter than I am, but that’s because he wasn’t subjected to the retarding rays of public schools in America. I think if you don’t perform well in his school, you stay where you are until you figure it out. Here, we just lower the standards until we can ensure that no one feels left out. Isn’t that sweet? It’s all about lollipop farts and unicorns shooting rainbows out of their nipples. Now everybody hug so I only have to use one bullet, mmkay?

Anyway, Erez’s day-to-day commute includes avoiding populated areas, getting off of the bus whenever he sees a guy with a tablecloth on his head, and other methods of avoiding death. Most of you know whose side I am on politically (at least as far as the idea of killing them before they kill more of us goes- other than that, most people just assume everything else), so I won’t offer my thoughts on the rampant pussification of the baby-boomer generation. I will offer Erez’s own unedited account of what life is like when you live a little closer to those who would do you harm-

“What is there to be said about this shitty situation that hasn’t already been said? How about, this:

I think there’s one thing we can all agree on, this situation sucks. For both sides. Here are the problems as I see them (this may be totally bias, but if I was going to be all PC about this, it wouldn’t be my true view of the situation):

1) Leaders should be replaced by calm, peace loving “We-can-all-get-along” members of the public.

The leaders (mainly good old Ya’aser Arafat) should be replaced by people not so bent on the total eradication of the Jewish people, and doesn’t favor terrorism as a form of warfare.

2) The total control Hamas, Jihad and all those peace opposing assholes have on the entire Palestinian population. When I’m king of the world, I’ll make up a chemical bomb that kills only members of the terrorism groups. Yeah, that would be a good thing to do.

Well, seeing as I’m not going to be king of the world any time soon, (unless that deal with Lucifer comes through) I’ve got to deal with it.

Most of the things that happen that I hear about on T.V don’t affect me very much. Of course I feel sad about the people that die, but I don’t stay home and morn their deaths. The only times I really get upset is when it hits close to home, and there is a suicide bomber attack (I live in the city of Netanya, A.K.A suicide bomber capital of Israel). When it’s soldiers vs. terrorists I don’t mind it that much. But WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH TARGETING DEFENSELESS CIVILIANS?! Not bystanders during a war, but normal people going about their lives! Dang it, that scares the shit out of me. I can’t go onto a bus without checking out everyone on the bus, and making sure none of them are wearing a Kafea (that’s that big white checkered towel they wear on their heads) and holding a big red switch, with mad suicidal glare in their eyes. Yeah, I know that’s not how they look while on a mission… The switch is inside the jacket.

I can’t go downtown without being scared shitless of going to crowded areas, or going to the entrance of the mall (where there have been so far about 5 attacks). I take the bus home from school every day, and I go into town very often. I hate having to be constantly alert. I’ve actually gotten off busses quite a few times, simply because I saw someone that looked a bit fishy on the bus.

But other than the times I go downtown, or go on a bus, life is pretty ordinary here. I have my Israeli equivalent to A levels coming up next year, I’m learning all sorts of new guitar techniques and songs, and those are the main things on my mind right now. The only times I get really worried are when I hear about the big assassinations (Yasin and Rantisi), because then I know there’s gonna be something big.

I don’t hate Arabs, I’m sure there are a lot of them that are very nice people. I only hate the people involved in the Hamas and other terrorist organizations”

Fujizzle manizzle,

Erez

I’m not trying to sway anyone on any issues, so please afford me the same courtesy. I just know what I took from reading this and other articles on the subject- the root of the problem in the Arab world is poor or nonexistent leadership. It’s been that way for hundreds of years. Now there are misled groups of people who want to completely erase various ethnic groups from the planet, and here’s a surprise for some- if/when they get to your country, they won’t give a sweet crap if you agree with the policies of your government or not. To the radical fundamentalist, you are another infidel. I am too. We’re all on Team Infidel, like it or not. Maybe you can stab them with your “War is not the Answer” sign.

I personally plan on taking them out with an Iraqi oil guzzling SUV powered by dead baby seals and live ammunition (with homeless people tied to the outside so the paint doesn’t get scratched), but I’d prefer that they meet their demise somewhere else.

I’m also happy that “izzlespeak” has made its way to Israel. Hallelujah.

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