Last week I got a bunch of emails and text messages saying they did not know the radio show had been moved up an hour (even though it was in the last blog post and Nightmare mentioned it 400 times). Anyway…looks like my Thursday time slot was replaced by something interesting, so I’m calling on Tuesdays from now on. Looking forward to hearing from you.

I need to take a few minutes and be honest about my self-image. Oh boy, Dusty is going to write about himself – woohoo. Unusual.

Listen, I’d write about you, but I don’t know you so I’d have to make everything up and no matter how complimentary I tried to be I would eventually offend you. Let’s face it; this whole thing would be boring if I didn’t offend someone. I have to admit the radio show has been fun because I get to split up the responsibility of finding something to say. We’ve had some callers, but I’d like to have more. As a favor to me – those of you who have enjoyed or tolerated my writing for 8 years now and learned pretty much everything you don’t want to know about me (and my neighbors), do me a solid and call the show sometime. I bet you’re more interesting than I am anyway.

Now, here’s how that is sort of related to my latest struggle (the fact that I will ask folks to do something and no one will). Which isn’t really a struggle as it seems to be a lifelong affliction. By the way, I am thinking about selling advertising on this blog, and if this entry doesn’t chase away any hope I had of selling ads, I’ll be a-fucking-mazed.

It may come as a shock to you that I am fairly opinionated. I’ll wait for you to get back in the chair out of which you no doubt just fell. For instance, as I type, Openoffice Writer has defaulted to Times New Roman 12 point. I do not like serif fonts, and 10 point is plenty. I like Openoffice.org because it is free. I donated $50 to them because they saved me $200 over Microsoft word. I will donate more if and when I have it.

What you may not know is that I consider my opinions to be my opinions and nothing more. I do believe that there are actual black and white facts in this world as well. For instance, food cooked on charcoal tastes better than food cooked on propane. That single fact is the only one I need to know. I cook food so that it will taste good, ergo I use natural lump charcoal and no lighter fluid. My grill has a small Coleman propane canister that lights the coals; I can have it at 400 degrees in 6 minutes and hold it within 10 degrees of any temperature all damn day.

People always tell me that they would cook with charcoal, but it takes too long and is “too messy”. Propane is more convenient. People also say Atlanta has horrible traffic. Atlanta’s horrible traffic is really only experienced by the throngs who commute into and out of the city every day. If you live in the city, you’ll find traffic is better than almost any suburb seven days a week. I don’t think people who grill with gas are wrong or stupid or unfit for the art or anything else. They probably just haven’t cooked with coals very much. My final point about grilling is that if you are going for convenience, why exactly are you cooking on a grill at all? Use the microwave. Hell, I don’t really give a shit how you cook your food. I cook mine to taste good.

Watch the world champion grilling or barbecue competitions. You see any propane? ‘Nuff said.

I have a similar debate with my friends about cars. I have the perfect car for me – a Honda Accord V6 6-speed The only fault it has is that it is front wheel drive and handles very oddly when accelerating hard around corners. It’s called oversteer or torque steer or something. When I bought it, several friends said “Why did you get the coupe? Are you a single girl? Men drive 4-door cars.”

The coupe is Lighter (fact)
Lighter means faster (fact)
The 6-speed coupe gets better mileage (fact)
The coupe looks better (opinion)
I do not like driving people around or helping people move(fact)
I can get an absurd amount of cargo in it by folding the seats down (opinion based on my definition of absurd… and cargo.)
The coupe costs less (fact, except for the part where the manual transmission is nearly impossible to find and made it cost more)

So in my mind, why would I want the sedan? Anyway, this led to our next point of contention, the manual transmission. It is a fact that if you like (and know how) to drive, and you want your car to perform the way it was designed to perform, you had better be shifting by hand. Manual transmissions also last longer and get better mileage (I know, your uncle had a manual transmission that he had to replace every three weeks. There are exceptions to everything). Again, I don’t think people who drive automatic transmissions are stupid. However, if you buy a sports car with 250-300hp and have an automatic transmission, we are back to the same mindset that made me wonder why you are grilling if you are after convenience. It’s like saying “I am driving from Atlanta to Washington DC in my dad’s Porsche because I will get there faster.” if speed is the basis of your decision, might I suggest an airplane? Probably cheaper too.

So yes, I am opinionated. I like to think that these opinions are based on careful consideration, observation, and a collection of facts. That does not mean you need to share my opinion, but my opinions do have some credibility, like it or not.

My dislike of Cilantro notwithstanding, I suppose. I just think it tastes bad and is way overused.

When a trustworthy person knows more about a subject than I do, I listen to that person; if my dad said that wearing a certain brand of pants would make me grease every landing and never screw up a radio call in an airplane, I’d buy the pants. Even if it doesn’t make sense that pants could effect my flying ability, my dad has spent more hours in airplanes than in cars, so I’d spend $60 and check it out. Worst case scenario – I have a new pair of pants.

This is where I get to the part about something being wrong with how people perceive me…or the way I communicate…or something. I once had a guy send me an email saying that my art website had inspired him to start drawing again. He asked what materials I use, and I told him in a very long detailed email. He wrote back a few days later and sent me a picture of his stash.

Nothing like what I said. Nothing particularly wrong with it, but I asked “Did they not carry the Pitt oil based Pencils? Design Ebony is good (I used them for years), but very soft and filled with grains and stuff. Canson does make better paper, but it is harder to find than Strathmore.”

“Yeah, they had all of it, but the lady who worked there said Ebony was better.”
“Is the lady an artist?”
“No, Her husband owns the place and he is a painter.”

So he took the advice of the wife of a guy who doesn’t even use pencils over the advice of a guy who goes through hundreds of them a year. Yes, I do take it personally – I don’t think the guy is a dick for not listening to me – this scenario happens to me all the damn time and I am always bewildered. Shortly after I bought my first house I had a friend tell me he was about to buy and asked if I knew a good realtor. I recommended Justin Seeby – probably the most knowledgeable realtor in the city of Atlanta and a friend of mine for years. I made a personal introduction and the guy used another realtor. He ended up buying a place that had roof problems that eventually cost him over $6,000.00. Problems that Justin knew about before he bought it.

Dubbleyou tee eff? I don’t claim to know everything, but I’m not offering my help to try and screw anyone, either. What really pissed me off about that case was when I overheard that friend telling a group of people “Dusty wants everybody to buy houses from his buddy…probably gets a kickback or something.”

Fuck. You. That part was a knee to the nuts – do my friends really think I am that sleazy? I used to think I was the most cynical person on earth, but do people not even trust their friends anymore?

To date, I have never been paid to endorse anything, including what I am about to tell you. I say these things because I like the product and I think you will enjoy it. Also, to my friends who are reading this – this is not a slam against you. I’m not mad at any of you for not doing something on my suggestion. Most of you who didn’t listen would have been better off if you did, and I am trying to figure out what it is about me that makes people insist on doing the opposite of what I suggest.

I bought a Mangrate for my dad for father’s day. Partly because he is impossible to buy for, and partly because I know he likes to cook outside. Mangrate is a cast-iron grate that goes on top of (or replaces) the crappy thin steel or powdercoated grate that comes with your grill. Most grills cook by shooting hot air past your steak, which is fine, but not the best way to get a juicy tasty steak. Using a huge hunk of hot cast-iron like the Mangrate ensures that the meat is being cooked by the heat from the metal. This ensures you get more of those caramelized char marks that make meat delicious and also helps prevent drying out and flare ups. I have used it and it works. They have also sold tens of thousands of them, so that has to count for something.

Mangrate then sent me an offer – “Send your friends this link and if they order one, we’ll send you one for free.” I sent the offer to my friends and said I would pay for half of their order if they used the link. That way we each get one for half price. That’s $30 each. Just do me a favor. I want one, I cook 5 meals a day on the grill, you (should) know I know what I am talking about, and the very worst that happens is your food tastes better and you have a conversation piece.

I know it’s not the $30. My friends all have jobs and love gadgets. And I am totally absolutely fine with it if they just don’t want one. I just figured out of 20 people I know who love to grill and love toys, at least one would think it was a good deal. The only conclusion I can arrive at is that either they think I am full of shit or I am involved in some kind of marketing scheme. Both of these scenarios make me think that my friends have a low opinion of me, so I have to believe that it is something about me.

It’s not just about this example, either. Mangrate just happens to be the latest in a long, long line…

Fishing
“I’ve never fished before and you have fished more often than you have peed. What should I use, Dusty?”

“On this lake this time of year, use a popper or something else on the top – bright colors. My tacklebox is your tacklebox.”

(blur pan to dudeman running a hook through a chicken McNugget and throwing it straight to the bottom of the lake)

“My grampa said this was the best way to catch catfish.”

“Why would you want to catch a catfi- wait, there aren’t any catfish in this lake…and the regulations are artificial bait only…nevermind. I hope you get a ticket.”

Flying
“Hey Dusty – what kind of fuel does this plane take?”

“We’re doing ground school tomorrow. Jet-A. It’s written next to the gas cap.”

(Spin zoom, Batman style – fuel truck pulls up with “100LL” written on the side. Wrong kind of fuel if you want the airplane to stay in the sky where it belongs. I come running out to my student waving my arms like a maniac.)

“100LL? what are you doing?”

“The guy in the office said it takes avgas.”

“Really? The guy who has never seen this airplane in his life? That guy? The guy who is not your flight instructor?”

Design
“I really like the fluffy logo for our new widget line. What do you think, designer named Dusty that I am paying to understand this stuff and advise me?”

“That is definitely one of my top five.”

“Well, You’re the designer, so tell me which one you like.”

(fade to musical montage set to the Go West hit “King of Wishful Thinking” where I am giving a ten page dissertaion, pointing to white boards with equations, marketing research, font analysis, color study, blah blah blah, ending with me saying, “And that is why the script logo is the best choice”)

“Okay. We’re going with the fluffy logo.”

*crestfallen bewilderment*

So for the next two weeks I’m doing all of the artwork using the fluffy logo because at the end of the day I am not really a designer, but merely an interface between graphic design software and those who do not know how to use it.

And then the phone call (happened just yesterday) – Hey Dusty, the board submitted your logo ideas to the marketing firm they have on retainer and they picked a different logo. They decided on the script one.

Smash cut – dance sequence – Gloating my ass off to the Karate Kid hit “You’re the Best Around” Cracking open a cold beer, walking around pumping my fist, and laughing to myself every time I see the logo on my screen, knowing that the next logo design will go exactly as this one did and piss me off just as much.

All true stories, with no sign of slowing down.

Screw this pity party shit. I usually don’t beat myself up over this stuff, but it just happens way too often for me not to ask myself if I need to change something.

Go buy a Mangrate if you want one. I don’t get one for free. I don’t get any money. It is just a good product. www.mangrate.com

The other day the exterminator came over to kill our bugs. This house was empty for a year or so before we moved in and we have dozens of squatters, mostly in the basement. One is a huge black widow that lives next to Sara’s car. She has to be killed. And then we’ll get to the spider problem AHAHAHAAHAHAHA hh… lol? roflmosa?

Anyway, Mr Terminix came by. His first name was Vermon. No lie – I have his bidness card on the fridge. I didn’t make a joke because I was sure he had heard all of them. Plus he had three gallons of nerve agent strapped to his back. He asked where the biggest problem was. I pointed to the cat. He laughed a little harder than necessary. Me and Vermon got along fine.

So Vermon is in the basement spritzing things, and I am working dilgently on facial tissue package design, when suddenly I had the kind of bathroom attack you may be familiar with if you are not a regular coffee drinker and you have, say, two and a half cups.

My fortress of soliturd is the basement bathroom. Low traffic, cool temperatures, good fartfan, no one can hear you scream, etc. Since the basement was currently occupied I scampered up to my second choice – the guest bathroom – and unleashed hell. Predictably there were 3 inches of toilet paper left on the roll. No biggie, I work for a toilet paper company and we have tons of it. Right under here-

Fury.

The cabinet had been filled with hundreds of bottles of whatever the fuck girls use to make themselves soft and fragrant. Keep in mind that the master bathroom has two sinks, each with a cabinet beneath them, and both are also filled with products like “silkwood extract microbead exfoliating taintscrub” and “Jasmine vanilla toasted sugar brownie souffle with a brandy cream reduction kneepit moisturizer” it was so full that three bottles actually came rolling out on the floor, just like my eyes were about to due to the increase in blood pressure. No toilet paper in the bathroom. Even more agonizing was the fact that the last place I recalled seeing it was the laundry room. I have half a mind to shit in the washing machine, but it is a front loader.

Before I go on, I need to illustrate a concept. The concept of the temporal window. As you are approaching a traffic signal, you know based on your speed and road conditions when would be the worst time for the light to turn yellow. Anxiety builds as you approach the hot zone, and leaves as you get close enough that you can make it through.

Pulling my pants up was not an option for reasons I would rather not describe. I had to walk down the hallway to the laundry room, pants on ankles, grab the toilet paper, and hobble back. There is a stranger in my house, and I’m not sure where he is at this point.

Enter the temporal window concept. If he starts coming up the stairs at a certain point, I will have a lot of decisions to make and not much time or agility. Luckily he didn’t come up the stairs and I was fine. The end.

Of course not. Could anything be that simple? Exactly at the time I was furthest away from a bathroom, grabbing a roll from the shelf in the laundry room (actually a closet that faces the top of the stairs), I hear him coming up the stairs. Not starting at the bottom, either. He was halfway up and had stopped presumably to spray something. He was about three steps away from turning the corner on unimaginable horror.

“Cockfaggot jewskimo”, I said under my breath and lunged toward the bedroom. My belt got caught under the door to the laundry room, and gravity made me its bitch. It all went into slow motion – the roll of toilet paper flew from my hand, hit the corner of the bed, and unrolled its way into the master bathroom. I landed like a bag of sand, mostly inside the door, and my extensive breakdance training instinctively took over. With your ankles tied together, sometimes the fastest way from point a to point b is the inchworm.

“Mr. Scott?” Vermon said, “Are you okay?”
I didn’t even look back. I was using every ounce of my being to move somewhere with a door. All I could see was carpet, tile, sink. Carpet, tile, sink…Come on, Dbag, remember what Grand Master Sugarpop told you… “Forget you have bones in your body and feces probably running down your thigh. Focus…”

I got into the bathroom and shut the door just as I saw his head poke into the room. “Are you up here?”

“Uhh yeah – I’m…ahhh…out in a second.”

And then realized I hadn’t flushed the toilet down the hall. Pretty sure that’s a real delight to behold. There was also still some toilet paper on the floor outside the door where I had inchwormed over it.

“Make sure you get the closet in the corner – I think I saw a wolverine in there.”

Good thinking, D. Bought some time. Now get cleaned up and flush the toilet.

I came out of the bathroom clearly winded and relieved, so I can only guess what conclusion he came to. He will never know how hard I worked to protect him.

41 Responses to “THE RADIO SHOW IS BEING MOVED TO TUESDAYS AT 4:30 PM EASTERN. Now you know. Not that anyone ever listens to me…”

  1. on 24 Jul 2010 at 2:17 pm GoP

    You know what I just adore? When people ask me for information and interrupt the answer. If you think you know, don’t ask. Your interruption is almost always incorrect, to boot.

  2. on 24 Jul 2010 at 2:21 pm bart

    Dusty,

    It started out a little chuckle-less, but I had peed my pants by the end.

    Good show.

  3. on 24 Jul 2010 at 2:57 pm AndyR

    I’m so glad you’re writing again! I miss all the fun times you bring on yourself!

  4. on 24 Jul 2010 at 3:49 pm Dan C

    Coupes are also easier to enter and exit since they have longer doors. And they look better.
    I used to sell water skis. It didn’t matter how much technical wisdom I offered, girls bought the purple one and guys bought the black one.

    Thanks Dusty.

  5. on 24 Jul 2010 at 3:57 pm tolladay

    As always, your writing is excellent.

    I especially enjoyed the part about opinions. The way I figure it, I have nothing but opinions. Some of my opinions, very few alas, are those of a professional. Most are not. Some are based on real world experience, some are not. I don’t expect anyone to follow my opinions, but I do expect, at least for my professional ones, for people to pay for them. In fact it is the “paying for” part that makes my opinions professional, not how well, if at all, they are followed.

    As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. A smart man doesn’t care of they go thirsty or not, only if they have paid, preferably in advance.

  6. on 24 Jul 2010 at 6:21 pm Bailey

    My husband has the same problem with people asking for his advice and then not following it, and it is frustrating for him, but I think that actually happens to everyone. It’s just more noticeable if you tend to be someone who regularly gives or is asked for advice. I’m a graphic designer and can totally relate to the client not listening. I find great stress relief in imagining holding the offending person’s head under water, just for a few seconds. Or a few minutes, depending on how offensive they are. Then I think about how much they are paying me to make their stupid changes.

    I admire your commitment to entertaining us by writing about some of the most painful and humiliating events in your life. Keep it coming! 🙂

  7. on 24 Jul 2010 at 6:30 pm John

    Glad to hear your back has healed enough to dance around with your pants around your ankles.

    Along with women comes stuff. It fills every available square inch. It fills space reserved for the new packages of TP. It fills the area where the bath towels go when they come out of the dryer. It covers the counters. There’s no escaping it. We just have to deal with it…

    …or throw it all in a paper bag and put it in her office. That always goes over well.

  8. on 24 Jul 2010 at 7:14 pm Zoltaire

    Dusty, Always a pleasure to read…Sorry I havent taken your advice for years…I’ll try better in the future:)

  9. on 24 Jul 2010 at 7:32 pm kekoas mom

    Crying again. Phew. Sorry about the advice ignoring thing, though.

  10. on 24 Jul 2010 at 7:49 pm Kathleen

    Try being a girl discussing sports or cars. You can forget most men listening to you and believing you, even if you know way more about a specific sport/car than they do. I just walk away from them now. It’s not worth the aggravation or the fact that I want to smack them upside their head(s) for their sexist beliefs.

    And if I ever grilled or ate meat, I’d totally buy a Mangrate just because you recommended it. (Too suck-up-y?)

  11. on 24 Jul 2010 at 8:05 pm Joey

    “He will never know how hard I worked to protect him.”

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHA. Excellent finish.

  12. on 24 Jul 2010 at 8:52 pm Nightmare

    Your writing is about as refreshing as masturbating with a cheese grater…mildly amusing, but mostly painful. I like it when you tell stories on the radio! and those two people who run the joint are fricking amazing! And hot too.

    Now go back to your sticky and stiff Furry, you have hidden in the back of the new closet under the gun.

    You freak.

  13. on 24 Jul 2010 at 9:14 pm McG

    Sometimes I feel guilty when laughing at your mishaps…. then I remember that you’re the one who decided to share.

    If the question involves my areas of expertise/experience, my response is:
    “Do you want my advice, or do you want my opinion? ‘Cause if you want my advice, and you don’t take it, I’ll be peeved.”

  14. on 24 Jul 2010 at 9:43 pm Locki

    Taintscrub.

    hahaha

  15. on 25 Jul 2010 at 1:28 am Cassandra

    “Fortress of Soliturd” – now that’s a gem.
    In other news, re: last Black Sky broadcast, you know there’s no blogger I am more creepily fond of than you, D.
    Looking forward to “Cooking with Salami”,
    C

  16. on 25 Jul 2010 at 6:28 am Gavster

    It’s called torque steer. Front wheel drive cars are usually more prone to understeer than oversteer.

    Thankfully I know nothing about fishing.

    The crapper story was genuinely very funny. Thanks Man.

  17. on 25 Jul 2010 at 11:12 am adriana

    I bought my husband the Weber grill with the propane thingy after hearing you rave about it. I also avoid celery in the garbage disposal because of you.

    I finally listened to blackskyradio.com for the first time last Thursday (my Outlook reminder at 1:30 pm …my time… told me to). Unfortunately, the IT guy at my work blocked streaming but I was able to catch a little bit of it.

    So there. People DO listen to you. Maybe it’s just the strangers who don’t know you well enough to doubt you, but your opinion is highly regarded anyway.

    =)

  18. on 25 Jul 2010 at 11:25 am Nightmare

    Adriana- Tell your IT guy to “Knock it the Fuck Off!”

  19. on 25 Jul 2010 at 12:17 pm Laura

    Thank you for starting my Sunday off with laughing so hard that I cried. Oh and I have the same work issue as Adriana or I would listen as well.

  20. on 25 Jul 2010 at 11:03 pm fourthstooge

    I like cilantro… but I also like manual transmissions and taintscrub…

  21. on 26 Jul 2010 at 8:43 am Jim

    You do poo like nobody else. LOL

    If you haven’t got your Mangrate yet I’d definitely go in on it with you. Half price is a great deal!

  22. on 26 Jul 2010 at 10:23 am Jess

    Nothing makes me giggle more than poop stories! Thanks for making this Monday morning a little more enjoyable. Even though you posted a few days ago.

  23. on 26 Jul 2010 at 11:20 am davejase

    110LL in a turbine… exciting for the A&P guys anyways…

    Say, can you recommend a good taintscrub? I’ll probably not listen to a word you say, but (like most of your peeps) I really love listening to you rant.

    Godspeed Dusty, thanks for the post!

  24. on 26 Jul 2010 at 11:46 am Dusty

    Actually, Davejase (and interestingly and somewhat barely understandable on the part of the guy in the office) it is a Thielert piston engine that was designed for diesel. Because the engines do not have a catalytic converter, we have to use Jet fuel. See, that helps avoid killing birds and flowers and rainbows. So it does not look turbine from the outside…

    Google Diamond DA42 – lots of bells and whistles.

  25. on 26 Jul 2010 at 12:27 pm Lori

    I love the smell of Jet-A in the morning (or anytime, really).

  26. on 26 Jul 2010 at 12:32 pm Jason

    I found your blog from Worst Album Covers, I nearly pissed my pants at work reading it! Now I am delighted to see that you have a blog going.
    You’re writing is very humorous and REAL…you have made me a loyal reader now, can’t wait to read more.
    BTW, I love my ’04 four-door Accord, and a rare manual!

  27. on 26 Jul 2010 at 12:56 pm SeaD

    Oh Em Gee, Dusty, now I must reapply my makeup because I have cried it all off. Lucky for me I have drawers full of the stuff, all over the house.
    You are one funny, funny man. Possibly your friends think you’re joking when you give them very sound advice?

  28. on 26 Jul 2010 at 2:29 pm Bekah

    Boy, I wish I lived closer to Atlanta. Alas, I am in Central Kentucky (the non-redneck part… well, I’m at least not a redneck).

  29. on 26 Jul 2010 at 3:36 pm incredipete

    I always take your advice, d-bag.

    So there. How much you charging for ad space?

  30. on 26 Jul 2010 at 3:55 pm Tink

    Great that you seem to be back in the saddle again D. Missed you for the longest time and hate waiting so long between posts. Keep em coming boss. I’m usually on the drive home during your radio show but I’ll see what I can do.

  31. on 27 Jul 2010 at 1:47 pm bree

    I hope the Black Widow and closet Wolverine at least were spritzed to death while you Batman-rolled on the floor with crap oozing to your knees.

  32. on 27 Jul 2010 at 5:49 pm Monica

    Hey, listened to the show today, hilarious!

    Love the blog, too, great to see you writing again

  33. on 27 Jul 2010 at 10:48 pm John

    Howard Johnson is right!

  34. on 28 Jul 2010 at 3:04 pm Sara

    You killed it! Haven’t laughed out loud in the office in DAYS! Thanks for the funnies!

  35. on 28 Jul 2010 at 3:40 pm Erin

    Oddly enough I was just bitching about the same thing to my husband (people asking for advice and then not taking it). Not odd that I was bitching just odd that I read your blog and that was your topic. My husband and I rescue dogs and friends asked if they should get one. We said no, repeatedly. They just got a dog. Poor thing.

    Awesome poo story, oddly enough I can relate.

  36. on 29 Jul 2010 at 3:14 pm davejase

    Hey Dusty… Wiki’s got a pretty informative piece on the DA42… cool plane… sounds like Thielert and Diamond have a hate-hate relationship, though.

    Often wondered (usually as I’m 27th in line behind an Airbus pouring Jet-A farts into my cockpit) why diesels weren’t more prolific in the aerospace world.

    Thank you for not hurting my puppies and bunnies and sunbeams with your filthy truck engines.

    Thanks for the info!

  37. […] – the Terminix guy who almost saw me naked and checked the termite bait and recommended a solution even though I didn’t pay for that […]

  38. on 04 Aug 2010 at 11:53 pm Gret

    Oh man this is so damn funny! I used to have a co-worker ask me what I thought about her films (we’re xray techs) all the time. Would I repeat the view, how I would reposition the body part, if I would change the technique. I had been a tech for quite a few years longer than her & she valued my opinion so I would tell her what I would do if it were my film. And every single time she wouldn’t do what I suggested. After awhile I’d finally had enough & I said to her “I don’t know why you’re asking me, because you never follow my suggestions. Why don’t you do what ever you think I won’t.” She looked at my like she’d never seen me before. And then she said I was right. I love the toilet paper story. I fell outta my chair laughing. My cheeks hurt from smiling.

  39. on 01 Sep 2010 at 12:29 pm Bwolfe

    You are very funny. Justin is the man. He is helping me find a house now and did a great job for another lady in the office.

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