Three months after I started this diary journal blog thing (which equates to almost three years ago if you use standard math), I wrote an entry called “stuff I know”. Most of it was pretty simplistic, but I noticed that almost all of those sentiments have changed in the past years. I’m sure they’ll continue to evolve. In three more years I might be a major hippie vegan with four bums living in my house or something. Who knows?

I keep a journal of stuff that crosses my mind, and recently started trying to figure out what my philosophy is. I soon realized that I am not nearly smart enough to have a philosophy, and even if I did, who cares? So I decided to make it something different- If I had um…twenty things to say to someone in hopes of making their life better, this is what I’d tell them.

1. If you have to ask yourself if something is a good idea, it isn’t.

2. Education is one of only a few things that can be given but never taken away.

3. We all want to help and do good things (even us evil republicans). We just have different ways of going about it.

3. Creativity can’t be taught, but it can be learned.

4. If more parents would teach their kids about saving their money, it would change the world. I’d say schools should teach it, but if I only learned as much about saving money in high school as I did about calculus, I’d be typing this from the poor house.

5. Everyone wants it all to be fair. The sooner you accept that it isn’t, the better off you will be.

6. Your emotions should never supersede your judgment. Ever. I don’t care if your mom is on fire. If you don’t stop and think before you act, you are making a mistake.

7. A driver’s license should be at least as difficult to get as a pilot’s license.

8. Welfare should be at least as difficult to get as the death penalty.
- The best charity a person can give is to motivate another person to work harder.
- In some cases, that means leaving them no other choice.

9. I don’t think anyone should get married before age 30.
- I have evidence to back that up.

10. I also don’t think I’ll ever get married.
- That really doesn’t bother me.

11. There will always be someone better/funnier/smarter than you.

12. If you are wise, you will find those people and make them your friends.

13. People who claim to have an open mind are some of the most closed-minded people you will ever meet.

14. No criticism matters unless you respect the criticizer. So if you don’t respect anyone, you can do no wrong. I’m kidding, jackball.

15. Without imagination, knowledge is inconsequential.
(I actually wrote that down when I was a kid before I knew Einstein said “Imagination is more important than knowledge” and I think that is pretty cool because it is probably the only time in my life I will ever have a thought similar to that guy.)

16. If you don’t piss someone off once in a while, you’re doing something wrong.

17. Hard work is more valuable than talent.

18. Having the humility to ask for help is just as admirable as knowing the answer.

19. This is the best dinner/bar tab ever-

The fact that I was on a date made it even cooler. She was pretty much obligated by fate to put out, but she still told me to get bent.

20. Everyone has a talent, but it might be a really sucky one, like the ability to make chicks tell you to get bent.

So you say you really don’t care about my stupid life lessons? Well, then I suppose I could post some pictures of Saturday night at Chez Dbag.

Dave and I gave a flawless demo run in front of several frightened partygoers, making it look easy and stupid. As you can see, Dave’s Achilles’ dance heel is his tendency to be distracted and get behind in the moves. Mine is my complete lack of rhythm or physical prowess.

Girls are always better dancers than guys, so we let Crystal and Ajax have a turn.
There is a distinct difference between foot-eye coordination and actual dancing. Girls are still better at dancing. As for Dance Dance Revolution, I could have sworn we were at McDonald’s because someone got SERVED.

On a side note, I don’t remember that guy in the background being there. Obviously my house is haunted by beings who only show up in photographs and enjoy shitty Japanese electronic music.

My bro and his girlfriend came over after some fancy pants party they went to. His girlfriend is way hotter than mine. I’d probably still say that even if I had a girlfriend. Huh? She’s not officially your girlfriend? She is now. It’s all over the internet.

And finally, the dance off. We tied at three apiece so we settled it with chainsaws at dawn. I don’t have any video yet, so this’ll have to do for now.

I know. DDR is supposed to be feet only, but when you have the fire in your soul, you speak with your whole body. I think this picture was taken before the music even started. How hard core is that? My take is that Dave is warming up for some good old fashioned date rape, and I look like I am trying to start a fight by making fart noises with my mouth.

Which is not what I was trying to do.

Check this out. Be sure and leave a comment or offer lots of money for it. It is one of a kind, after all.

Trackback URI |