Bleached blonde hair, a white tee-shirt, baggy pants, and several tattoos on the upper arm that just scream “I’m such the original badass that I look identical to all of the other ones!”

This kid was in line at the grocery store yesterday and another register opened up, so he and the lady behind him went for that line, and I followed suit because the person at the front of the line was apparently trying to pull a hostile corporate takeover through the debit card E-Z pay machine at the register. The lady who was behind him got in line in front of him (not super cool, but she had kids, and was probably in more of a hurry, so I would have let it slide), and our young friend proceeded to get his angst on. As if it was a personal attack on him and he didn’t have the cognitive capacity to deal with it on a human level, he started muttering stuff, and she heard him. She was offended, he said stuff back, I stood back and smiled, just keeping an eye out for any reason that I should intervene. The manager was helping the cashier at the time, loading money in the till or whatever, and he looks up and says, “What’s the problem here?” I seized the opportunity to take the heat off of the lady by saying “Eminem’s mad because she got in line in front of him.” I sometimes say that aggression is drawn to me, but in this case I clearly brought it on myself. Another thing that I instantly learned is that although angry teenage boys may emulate a certain person, they become irrational when called by that person’s name. He bowed up, and I found the cashier and myself laughing as he made his 110 pound frame appear as large as possible. I really didn’t want to escalate the situation, so I fought valiantly not to laugh, but couldn’t contain the smile as I said, “Sorry man, I’m an ass. I just have a bad habit of saying stuff without thinking. Let’s just pay for our stuff and go home, alright?” Trying to appease him was akin to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Inconsolable, he muttered something that sounded like “bitch”, and I laughed out loud. He didn’t try to “step to me” or whatever it is the young toughs do these days, and I thought the whole thing was hilarious.

Anyway, my bro and I went out later that night to a local hangout and had beers with some of our friends. Some nights I participate more actively than others. Last night I just sort of sat and observed, and spoke relatively little (for me).

What follow are my thoughts.

It’s always funny to me how two people who have never met can have such similar traits. One of the guys there in his early twenties reminded me so much of a guy I work with that it was creepy. He doesn’t look anything like him, but they have similar issues that I assume are a product of age and maturity more than anything else. I recognize these traits because I used to have some of them, and still cling to a few. One of the most pronounced is what I like to call “Some things just are the way they are”, which is often confused by the young and brash with “Bending to the system”, but is not the same thing. I used to get so mad when I saw some head of whatever at my job just picking his ass all day and making more money than I did. I later realized that that guy probably helped found the company and spent more years working much harder than I have to, et cetera. Or maybe he is some guy’s brother in law and got the job because he knows the right people. The point is, who cares? As long as the guy isn’t hurting the company or your job in any way, you are wasting your life worrying about it. Some things just are the way they are. He might be the biggest asshole in the world, but one day you’ll be calling the shots, and then you can do things the way you want to and some other punk can hate you for being rich. It’s the same deal in other areas- this guy was trying to get to know the waitress, and my brother and I offered some pointers- the first being don’t open with “I know I’m an asshole…”, second, don’t apologize if you break rule one, and third, don’t be critical or bitter when dealing with your future ex girlfriend. I actually had to learn these things from my younger brother, which was one of the most valuable and humbling lessons of my life. By simply sitting and doing almost nothing but adding the occasional comment, she became more interested in me (unintentional on my part), and more pissed at the guy who went in circles of self deprecation, random apologies, and insults. He was in awe when she came around the table and hugged me. He said “man, what did you DO?” My brother and I answered in unison “nothing.” Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t think a twenty year old waitress has any use for me whatsoever, nor am I under any illusion that we have anything in common. I was actually trying to get my friend a date. Still trying. I don’t see those two getting together anytime soon. He was pissed (as I used to be) that you can’t just say everything that you are thinking to a girl when you meet her. Sure, it would be easier, but some things just are the way they are. The lane you are in is always going to be the slowest because we never notice when it is the fastest. The guy in front of you at the ATM is always pulling off some complex financial maneuver. It will only rain on the days you wash your car. Certain things are better laughed off than stressed over.

So maybe you fell asleep reading my meandering thoughts, but I assure you that I did have a point buried in there somewhere. Lately I’ve been off my game as far as writing goes. I have a bunch of half-finished entries that start off well enough, but peter out toward the end like this one.

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