Yes, I am aware that the Sun (a magazine in the UK) is running a worst album covers article. Thanks to everyone who let me know. I don’t own the album covers and as long as they didn’t steal what I wrote, they are not doing anything wrong. When I first posted that entry, some guy (the guy who ended up publishing that stupid “worst album covers ever” book you see at bookstores- all the same pictures, but without any of that pesky humor) threatened to sue me because he thought he owned the rights to the images, which he didn’t because he didn’t create them and they were old enough to be public domain and he hadn’t purchased the rights and I’m fully committed to a run-on sentence but I don’t know how to end it so maybe I won’t.
And that, my friends, is pretty much the extent of my knowledge of copyright law.
The album covers thing has run its course. Every douchebag with a URL has an album covers page.
I guess the problem I have is that I thought the Album Covers entry was sort of funny, but not the best thing I have done, thus proving that I know absolutely nothing and should shut up. I’m going to go find more album covers to write about before I say something stupid.
In other news, I’m sure everyone knows that I am fair game to be made fun of. I do most of it myself. I am capable of defending myself, deleting your emails, or whatever it takes to make you shut up because I run this show and I sort of ask for it anyway. However, should you choose to target members of my family or my friends, be very sure that you cover your tracks because the gloves will come off and you will cry. I have a very unique way of evening things up, and you will never even know it was me. You’ll just wake up one morning and everything will suck.
Someday, maybe next year, maybe ten years from now, when you take stock of what’s going on in your life and realize that you lost your job and your wife/husband left you, and all you have left is your dog, it’s because you earned it. And stay away from your dog, because he’s about to explode.
I’m not much of a cheek-turner. I’ll be at least as nice to you as you are to me, but ten times as mean.
Odd that I mentioned a dog there, as tonight is unintentionally dog-themed. I was sitting in my “studio” (a folding table with a drawing board on top of it) finishing up this picture that has nothing to do with a dog but I wanted to post it here because I like the way it turned out,
and I turned on the Television. I don’t care what you say- Dog the Bounty Hunter (first dog reference) is good television. He and his wife and kids and cousins are all so deliciously redneck I almost can’t stand it.
In this episode they had a puppy (dog reference #2) that was dying and they were taking it to the vet. His daughter was all sad and the dog was hurt and I felt bad for them so I went to check computerland for something more uplifting.
You’d think when you have a story about a dying puppy, there’d be nowhere to go but up, but I was headed for dog reference #3.
I checked Judd’s diary to see if he had updated. He just left for Australia to be with his wife forever and always, so I figure by now she found out about his tail and left him for a normal guy or he got sexed to death. In either case it would give him something to write about. Nothing new yet, though.
I ended up re-reading the entry from when he dropped off his dog at her new owner’s house. Dipshit Judd didn’t give any back story to set it up because he correctly assumes that everyone in the world keeps up with his life through his blog. Just in case, here’s the synopsis of Judd’s life in the past year or so-
He read my blog one day and wrote me an e-mail. I told him to write his own blog and stop living vicariously through me because it’s really a lot more boring than it would seem. He starts writing funny stuff and billions of people read him. Breaks up with a girlfriend/fiancee after eleven million years together, cries. Falls in love with another chick, but it doesn’t work out. Cries some more. Comes to Atlanta for New Year’s Eve party and has best four days of anyone’s life because my whole existence is awesome and I spread it around. Cries once again when I won’t put out. Somewhere along the line a chick in Australia with a fetish for sasquatch decides she likes him and wants to bed him. Like any non-desperate red blooded American male, he does the logical thing and flies to Australia to sex her up…er…meet her. Cries, comes back, tells the world he is engaged to her, I initially think he’s a moron but eventually wonder who I am to think I know what’s good for someone else, so I am on his side and now am lined up to perform their wedding ceremony in the United States this fall. He’ll probably cry.
Part of the deal with him moving to Australia was that he had to get rid of his dog because dogs can’t live in the southern hemisphere. It makes them explode.
So he finally found an owner and had to take Asshead over and drop her off.
Some of Judd’s best writing in my opinion, but it made me sadder than the television did, so I checked my e-mail.
Oh goody. My friend and co-worker NathanG sent me a note telling me that he had updated his blog. He keeps a blog about thoughts and lessons he wants to pass on to his two young daughters. Not Nathan from Atlanta Illustrated, but Nathan from my other job (didn’t want anyone thinking that Atlanta Illustrated Nathan had a heart). NathanG is a devout Christian and a very nice guy, so if you choose to leave him comments, keep them tasteful. If you choose to be an asshole, Jesus will probably smite you because Nathan and Jesus are tight. In any case, if Jesus doesn’t get you, I will. So play nice.
I clicked on the link and read this.
He sent me an email earlier today telling me that he had to go to the vet and have his dog put down. I thought he was taking her to have her insulted until he explained it.
He was quiet when he got to work, and I knew he was bummed out so I didn’t throw coffee on him like I usually do. The worst part about it was when I overheard him explaining it to his five year old daughter.
“I couldn’t help it…she was really sick…
I know sweet pea, I’m sad too.”
Anyone wonder why I am having such a hard time being funny? Jeez.