Okay, as far as the hate mail goes, the reason you don’t get to read most of it is that if the person leaving it does not leave a return address or link to their site, it gets deleted. Those are the rules, and this is my tree fort. I did accidentally erase the note from the girl who asked me that question, but she can feel free to re-post it and poop on my guestbook.

I was extremely impressed by a few who could have easily called me names and told me to die, but chose the high road. I could learn from people like that. I will probably keep this diary a little edgy, but it is honestly nothing more than provocation. It is entertaining. Ignore me and I’ll go away.

Just kidding.

The winners of this week’s “Going Off in a Blind Rage” contest were Jeremy (who had a better argument but had to forfeit the prize because he didn’t leave any contact info) and Sach, who literally made my monitor shake with what I assume was an attempt to make a point. Jeremy wins hands down for the effort he went to in order to call me an arrogant American for beating the wasp in a fight. He said that I was using that as a metaphor for America waging war on Iraq.

Trust me, I am not that deep.

Jeremy, I am sure your arms are tired from all of that reaching, but if you can, please re-enter that message with some contact info so everyone can enjoy it. He also knows which books have all of the correct information in them about what’s REALLY going on in politics, but didn’t name the titles of any of them. Good stuff. He then said he was going to offer some criticism on my artwork, but didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Thanks for your sensitivity, but I don’t have feelings, so I’d love to hear it! On a side note, “Your paintings suck” is not criticism, nor is “realism is for hacks”. Heard it before. I need some substance.

Sach. Man, what a guy. I’ll even link to his site , so you can read about what a fool I am and be enlightened to such theories as the man’s conspiracy to keep airfares high enough that people aren’t allowed to “go and learn from each other on a cultural scale…” Really it’s so that paying travelers don’t have to sit next to people like him on long trips. Also, read an entry called “KILL WHITEY” that contains such wisdom and rationale as:

“My entire fucking generation is going to fucking burn in the dirtiest, vilest, most semen, puke and scortal juice drenched pits of hell. And if it dosen’t exsist, clearly they fucking should.”

I don’t even know what “scortal juice” is, but it sure sounds scary. It must really be horrible to hate so much all of the time. What a tortured life.

This is his letter, unedited, and my responses. His words are in bold because I’m sure he was screaming as he typed. It goes to show that owning a keyboard does not necessarily mean you should be allowed to use it. Before anyone calls me a big meanyface poo poo pants, please go and check his site and make a decision as to whom you want to side with.

I however, am not a coward. You my friend, are.

What exactly makes me a coward, good buddy?

I am one of those “fools” you call Moores fan base.

Look again, quotey. The word “fool” does not appear anywhere in that entry. Did you go to the Moore school of editing?

And since you seem so inclined to base people on their physical imperfections (Moore being fat) Since so much of your inane ramblings are reflected in you going ON and FUCKING ON about how you lift weights and hurt your back or some shit, I’m not fat. So fuck you.

Someone please explain that collection of words to me. MY inane ramblings? Read that a few times and tell me if it makes any sense. Mr. Sach, when trying to make a point, it is a good idea to follow through. Sounds like you may have had a thought started, but got too flustered to finish it. Use your words like a big boy.

As for Moore, why is he an idiot? Because he debases the corporations that seek to run your life? because he points out the bullshit and cover ups that so plauge the American political system? because he seeks truth, you see fit to call him an idiot?

No. As you stated above, I think he is an idiot because he is fat. (Try going to www.getasenseofhumor.com. I think they rent). You should use that “debasing the corporations that seek to run your life” line in your next job interview. That’ll get you far. By the way, the first letter used in the first word in a sentence is supposed to be capitalized. No, it has nothing to do with capitalism, so you don’t have to protest it.

Are you merely disagreeing with him to get hits on your sad little site?

Yes, and it’s working like a champ. It’s also fun to watch people get all worked up and twitchy so the rest of us can laugh at them. Gives me stuff to write about…lots of reasons, actually.

Let me tell you something, where Moore is trying to make the world a safer, and better place, you’re a crippled loser writing about lifting weights and cooking meat. Nice one, you pathetic sack of trash.

…yet for some reason I get thousands of hits…crippled losers are sooo funny. Oh, and it’s “Pathetic sack of WHITE ELITEIST trash” to you. Name calling makes me laugh.

Next time just show a banner with a set of tits, or a nice shaved cunt, like your face.

WOW. I take back everything I have said about you. Now that I realize that my face is actually a hairless female reproductive organ, I see the error of my ways (as well as understanding my constant desire to orally satisfy myself). Can I please join your ranks and hate everything with you?

Don’t use a crusader for human rights as your whipping boy.

Can I use an angry young comic book collector? You seem to be making a decent replacement.

Especially since that “Fat idiot” has achived more than you and your crippled ass ever will.

“Achive” is something you find on “abakedpotato”. If you were trying to say, “achieved”, it would make you cry to see all of the things my crippled (perfectly able to walk, run, jump, and do everything anyone else can) ass has been successful with. And watch the quotes, Mr. Moore. I never said, “fat idiot”.

He has the right to believe what he wants, and the freedom to express it. However, with that freedom comes the responsibility of dealing with the consequences of what you say. Take the Chixie Dicks, for example…

Here is a technique I use to keep myself from writing insane letters to people-

Put your keyboard in a bucket of water and freeze it. Then when you want to use it, you have to think about what you are going to say while the ice melts.

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