Myneighbor (Click on the word “neighbor” to read an entry about the neighbor (I was talking to a few people lately who didn’t know that’s why the words were underlined, so this is for them)) got home last night about the time I was going to bed, which happened to be about 12:30 am. I know I am an old crusty fart who goes to bed all early and stuff, but all I want is for those around me to respect the fact that some people sleep at night.

She turned on some dance music loud enough that I could hear the words. “I’m goin’ out so get this party started…” the lame pseudo musician bleated over the heartbeat-like thump of an electronic bass drum. Her dog, the noisy shitbeast pitbull that wants to kill me was all excited to see her, so it also sounded like someone had several garbage cans full of bowling balls and was dumping them out over and over. To top it off, the chick was excited to see her dog and showed her emotion by saying things like “HEIIIIIIII!!! MY BAYYBEEEEE!!! II WUUUV MY PUPPY DOG!! YESYESYESYESYES IDOO!!! EEEEEEEEEE!!! AAAAAAAAAGGHHH!!! MMYEEEE WITTTLLLE DOGGGEEEEEEEEE!!!!! BLAAAIIIEEEIIIII!!!” in a very very loud, high pitched voice. I wanted to get the party started by showing up at her door with a mop handle and a shovel and beating them both until noise stopped coming out, but luckily the music and noise was short lived. She sprayed on enough perfume to almost drive me from my apartment and left to go dance or something. She always sounds like she’s falling down the stairs when she comes and goes because she never learned how not to jump from stair to stair.

At about 4 am, she came home from wherever she went. The dog went apeshit again, and she started squealing like an angry pig made of fingernails and chalkboards. They flung themselves down the stairs to go shit on the sidewalk, and then came back up to turn on the music and dance around or whatever you do when you are a violently retarded 23 year old girl and her dog. She did it again about an hour later, but I was already awake from the last one. I guess I should tell her to turn it down, but I prefer psychological torture.

This morning I got up at 8:00, knowing that she was sound asleep, and stomped down the stairs, beating on the wall and squealing the whole way. Then I opened the door to my place and slammed it loudly, and greeted my cat with screams of delight. My cat is still hiding under the couch, as she is not used to me being that happy to see her. I then found my Jane’s Addiction CD “nothing’s shocking” and began playing it loud enough to make the floor shake, turning up the bass just a bit for effect. I sang loudly while I was in the shower, and then heard thumping that was not music related. Damn if she wasn’t stomping on the floor trying to tell me to shut up. I decided that now would be a good time to re-hang a few pictures, but I used the big hammer and the long nails so they wouldn’t come out of the wall. She gave up stomping, and now I sit typing, listening to what is actually a brilliant album. I know, two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do. Plus, I’m not doing anything but having a productive Sunday morning listening to some great tunes. Well, time to go vacuum.

-=D=-

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