What in the name of all that is normal is happening to this country?

That was a rhetorical question. I am afraid to know the real answer, so I’ll provide my response.

In case you didn’t read the article, it is about Los Angeles officials requesting that device manufacturers refrain from using “master” and “slave” labels on their devices, and have done “exhaustive research” to find any other labels that might be taken offense to. Like male and female connectors, right and left sided stuff, and so on. Next they will outlaw having an ass or hands with which to scratch it, and make you carry weights around so that everyone can only jump a government mandated 6” vertically. (read: Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World” for more details) Isn’t it funny how the far left can go so far as to appear on the right? Or as my friend brilliantly put it at dinner the other night “three lefts make a right”.

In response to this and in an effort to further my “Lighten Up, Pantywaste” agenda, My team of crackhead scientists and I are busy designing the single most offensive computer ever. This country is entirely too easily offended, according to a bunch of bullshit government agencies that sit around and tell us what offends people. Those bastards offend ME. Does anyone care? More to the point, has anyone ever actually MET anyone who was offended by a Male/female connector?

Our final result: “OFFENDER 3000X”

(The “x” is for “extreme offense”)

It is driven by a high power, high speed honkyboard, (named so because we all know the white man thinks he controls everything) that boasts an unheard of 3.9 gigafag run speed, thanks to the newest W.O.P. (Wide Open Processing) technology. Two slave drives are constantly beaten by a master drive (which has a tiny whip for effect), and all of the memory is held in a “Filthy Jewcache” for faster access. In testing, we found the Jewcache to be handicapped and not willing to release memory (and nothing is more useless than a handicapped jew), so we came up with a segregated circuit that contains an in-line Nazigate and heatsink. That seemed to solve the problem, and the latest manufacturing runs have the new “lesboards” installed. Instead of the standard male and female connectors, all plugs and sockets will be shaped exactly like the reproductive organs of the respective sexes, and will have a tiny inscription explaining why gender confused people are not loved by normal people and never will be. The CD ROM drive is called a “damn dirty slut” for no other reason than the fact that we didn’t feel like we had objectified women quite enough with the old, outdated whoredrives. We were so passionate about this product offending absolutely everyone that we assembled it with nothing but blind nuts and smoothed all metal edges with bastard files. The top of the line unit is designated “Balls n’ Satchel”, as we think that illicits a feeling of power. The next model lower is the “House Eunuch”, followed by the “Tranny”, “Homo”, “Woman”, and “Simpering Retard” models.

Along with the hardware will come new terms for tech support. For instance, if you can’t run your printer because of a bad driver, you would tell our friendly tech support reps that you have a “Chinese lady”. Much more efficient. Likewise, if you have a part that simply won’t work or pay child support, it’d be a “black man”, on the other hand if it worked, but very slowly, you’d call it a “Mexican”. If there were a virus in your system that was wreaking untold havoc by mass murdering files and burying them in its crawlspace, you’d call it a “Crazy Cracker”. All of our Tech support staff are Oriental for two reasons- 1- they prefer to be called “Asian”, and 2- they are way smarter than we round-eyes are. I think they invented computers.

They also all know karate.

Anyhow, stay tuned, because in the first quarter of next year, we will be introducing our new quadriplegic left-handed Eskimo retard midget KKK processor. Sure to revolutionize the face of high tech. So easy, even a woman can use it!

You know, I thought about writing a disclaimer for that, but that would be defeating the point. If this offends you, it may be time to sit back and take stock of the difference between “words” and “reality”.

Oh, one more thing- Have you ever wanted to see me dance? Hear me mumble? What about seeing me nose over an airplane on landing? See all of this and more in my new, super compact 24 meg video-

CLICK HERE!!

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